Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHERThe plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER