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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

Ambrose Bierce

PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Contrast Fall Sense
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Himself Listening Person Talk
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Boundary Divorce Relationship
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Breathe Conversation Listening Vocal
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fake Fools History Important Rule
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE

Electricity Natural Reason
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Marriage People Person Support
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Instrument Worst
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Machine Technology Transformation
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Leadership Philosophy Road
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Love Marriage Sanity Temporary
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Division Domain Forever Hope Present
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

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