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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Ambrose Bierce

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Assassination Character Weapon
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confirm Degree Democracy Reward
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Concession Demand Resort
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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God Place Teaching War
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Animal Born Egg Loud Lying
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Blacksmith Cloth Kind Man
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Marriage People Person Support
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Himself Listening Person Talk
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Assasination Harmony Instrument
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Happiness Temptation Weakness
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Device Profit Responsibility
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Division Domain Forever Hope Present
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Death End Estate Himself
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Average Perseverance Success Virtue
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Myself Reputation Thinking
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Adventure Knowledge Old Sun Wisdom
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Man Ocean World
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Food Place Religion Service State

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Popular Authors

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