The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCELaughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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