There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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