Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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