Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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