I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTINThrough the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
STEVE MARTIN