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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

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Care Exercise Preference Sex Win Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Destroy People Trust
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALD

Enjoyment Love Man Small Wind
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Reason Shame Virtue
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Affect Deep Future Ourselves Regret
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD

Best Dreams Goodness Life Right Wake Up Yourself
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Funny Laughter Surprise Yourself
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALD

Intelligence People Poor Stupidity Thinking
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Friendship Funny Home Ideas Man See Thrill Walk Yourself
Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Prejudice Reason Strong Weakness
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD

End Fantasy Friendship Love Order Politics Simplicity Sports World
A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALD

Crime Evil Greatness Injustice Man Practice Success Thinking World
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
$Norm MacDonald Quote - In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.$

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD

Mathematics Opinion Stupidity Subject Teacher Yourself
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD

Difference Fight Fun Myself See

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