I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALDA great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD