“They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.”

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.

Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.

Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.

As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

At some point, if you’re changing a really deep-seated behavior, you’re going to have a moment of weakness.

Boys are beyond the range of anybody’s sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

Clouds never get tired of giving rain to us; and you, you must never get tired of giving your love! Valentine’s Day is a day to remember to give more, to love more, it is a day to behave like a heavy rain!

Folk whose own behavior is most ridiculous are always to the fore in slandering others.

A novice always behaves with propriety.

We may think that we have stored things to suit our behavior, but usually we have unconsciously adjusted our actions to match where things are stored.

The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.