There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
NORM MACDONALDThe most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD