If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALDYou ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALD






