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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Norm MacDonald

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Avoid Determination Distance Himself Man Opinion Pursue
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALD

Form Jealous Philosophy Sweet
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD

Hate Love Rival Team Yourself
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD

Education Idiot People Poor Rich Stupidity Writing
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD

Correct Discover Improvement Mistake Yourself
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Affect Deep Future Ourselves Regret
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD

Confidence Easy Man Temptation Violence
It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Better Desire Destroy Necessary Prosperity Ruin
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD

Best Mindset Praise Success
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
NORM MACDONALD

Different Moral Nation Reading
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Carry Force Limitation Restriction Worst Youth
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALD

Intelligence People Poor Stupidity Thinking

I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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