black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.

Norm MacDonald

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD

Ambition Myself One Liner
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD

Activity Ambition Energy Greatness Happiness
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD

Alcohol Bad Drink Hard Time Life
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALD

Business Confidence Disappointment Future Learning People Weakness
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Dangerous Escape Reason Suffering Understand
The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALD

Beginning Knowledge Mistake Philosophy Wisdom
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD

Enough Funny Myself Natural Reality Sound
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD

End Fantasy Friendship Love Order Politics Simplicity Sports World
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD

Ego Expression Imitation Joy Opinion Person Satisfaction See Worth
Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALD

Betrayal Crime Desire Fake Fools Man Philosophy
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Destroy People Trust
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Avoid Determination Distance Himself Man Opinion Pursue
A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALD

Commitment Display Excuse Mistake
Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
NORM MACDONALD

Appearance Health Liberty Lost Precious

They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Norm MacDonald Quotes