There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALDAs evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD -
A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALD -
If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALD -
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD -
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD -
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD -
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD -
The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALD -
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD -
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
NORM MACDONALD -
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD -
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD