I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
STEVEN WRIGHTI like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
STEVEN WRIGHT