I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINBoy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTIN