How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTMy friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHT






