Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
STEVEN WRIGHTThere’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT