I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I told you I was sick.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






