“I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.”

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Its all in the mind, you know.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.

In the human race today, you came last.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

If you’re sincerely seeking God, God will make His existence evident to you.

The New Atheists are not open or willing to go where the evidence leads, unless that evidence sustains their own naturalistic assumptions. They have covertly reduced all philosophical thought and deduction to– ironically-fait h!

Let us receive nothing, believe nothing, follow nothing which is not in the Bible, nor can be proved by the Bible.

Should a conflict arise between the witness of the Holy Spirit to the fundamental truth of the Christian faith and beliefs based on argument and evidence, then it is the former which must take precedence over the latter.

The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is wrong, unless proved otherwise.

These people are amazing. It’s so emotional I was thinking about wearing waterproof mascara.

The Christian faith does not call for us to put our minds on the shelf, to fly in the face of common sense and history, or to make a leap of faith into the dark. The rational person, fully apprised of the evidence, can confidently believe.

What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.