Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I told you I was sick.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN