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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Literature Word Wrong
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Alphabet Order Song
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Forget Funny Myself
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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Bacteria Culture People
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Children Friendship Himself
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Animal Funny Herself Laughter Milk
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Drive Learning Yourself
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Funny Identity Person Play Race
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Bad Conscience Memories
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Coffee Myself Time
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch

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