How do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHT