Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHTEveryone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
More Steven Wright Quotes
-
-
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT