I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
STEVEN WRIGHTI am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHTSome friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
STEVEN WRIGHTSupport bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHTA clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHTI intend to live forever. So far, so good.
STEVEN WRIGHTThere’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHTFor my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHTYou know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
STEVEN WRIGHTMy nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHTI wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHTI almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
STEVEN WRIGHT