I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINDinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN