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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Steve Martin

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN

Alcohol Drink Poet Team Writing
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTIN

Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Believe Equality Myself Stupidity
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Funny Myself Sex Woman Yourself
There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Better Drive Inspirational Learning Motivational Terrorism Yourself
It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTIN

Change Live One Liner Ourselves Pain
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTIN

Criticize Himself Man Walk Way Yourself
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
STEVE MARTIN

Boredom Comfortable Work Yourself
Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
STEVE MARTIN

Expectation Inspirational Motivational Room Yourself
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTIN

Philosophy Thinking Yourself
I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTIN

Growth Old Thinking Yourself
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTIN

Break Up Cheating Herself Myself Woman
When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN

Death Myself Thinking

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

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Popular Authors

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