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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

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