If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDSThe clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS