If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDSThe clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS