black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes