black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes