black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

W. C. Fields

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

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