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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

W. C. Fields

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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