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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

W. C. Fields

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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