black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

W. C. Fields

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes