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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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