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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

W. C. Fields

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

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Popular Authors

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