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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

W. C. Fields

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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