black
grey
blue
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

W. C. Fields

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

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