black
grey
blue
red
brown
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

W. C. Fields

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

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