black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

W. C. Fields

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes