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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

W. C. Fields

I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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