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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

W. C. Fields

There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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