black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes