black
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I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

W. C. Fields

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

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I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

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