black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes