Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDSI like children. If they’re properly cooked.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS -
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS -
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS -
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS