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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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