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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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