black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes