I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDSIf at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS