black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes