black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

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If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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