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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

W. C. Fields

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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