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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

W. C. Fields

I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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