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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

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