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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

W. C. Fields

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

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