Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDSEverybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS -
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS -
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS