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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

W. C. Fields

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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