I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLENI have a thing for tools.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
TIM ALLEN






