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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

I have a thing for tools.

Tim Allen

Related Topics

MyselfTools

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More Tim Allen Quotes

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  In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

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• 

  I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.

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• 

  Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

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• 

  My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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• 

  I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.

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• 

  The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

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• 

  When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.

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• 

  When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.

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• 

  Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

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• 

  I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

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• 

  My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.

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• 

  While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

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• 

  I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.

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• 

  I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.

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• 

  Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

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• 

  Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

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