I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLENI’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLENWomen are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLENWhy go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLENI blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
TIM ALLENThey say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLENMen often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
TIM ALLENAs the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLENMen are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
TIM ALLENThe world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
TIM ALLENSometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
TIM ALLENI’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLENDogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLENMy dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
TIM ALLENI have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLENBe wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLENThe ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
TIM ALLEN