In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
TIM ALLENWomen are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN