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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.

Related Topics

Education Funny Myself Perfection Practice Stop Teacher

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Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Money Thinking Worth Yourself
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Control Death Game Yourself
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Animal Evolution Monkey Science
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Funny Literature Word
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Funny Mad Music Myself Night Play
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Children Funny Hands Himself Mom
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Believe Funny Myself Police Reading See Stop Time
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself

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