Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Clones are people two.
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT