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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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Listening Mistake Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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Attention Believe Himself Myself Sick
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Difference Ideas Person Research Steal
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
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Believe Funny Hands Myself Science Yourself
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Funny Mad Music Myself Night Play
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Advice Bird Deep Funny Patience Worm
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Bad Conscience Memories
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Discipline Funny Himself Person Time

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