Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHTI intend to live forever. So far, so good.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT






