I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
STEVEN WRIGHTI intend to live forever. So far, so good.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
STEVEN WRIGHT






