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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

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Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Lost Myself Place Thinking
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Drive Learning Yourself
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Education Funny Myself Perfection Practice Stop Teacher
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Animal Dog Himself Myself Return
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Control Death Game Yourself
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk

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