If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHTMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHT