Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Clones are people two.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHT