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How do you get off a non-stop flight?

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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself

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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Children Funny Hands Himself Mom
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Fall Feeling Myself Sit Time
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Animal Dog Himself Myself Return
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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Memories Myself Past Thinking
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Company Game Myself Thinking Wrong
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Devil Evil Fantasy Funny Taste True
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
Clones are people two.
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One Liner People

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