I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHTI am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHT